Blue Spirit
by xHandWhistlerx
Summary: Severus meets an American girl, Harmony Blue, who tries to teach him how to express his strong feelings for Lily. Alternates from childhood to adulthood. Review!
1. Chapter 1: Meeting Harmony

Severus opened the door to his home again, only to be met by disgruntled feelings.

" I thought I told you to fuck off…" His mother growled; she slumped in a rickety kitchen chair, her back to the door and a cigarette dangling in between her bony fingers.

" It's just me, mother." Severus replied. " Did he hit you again?"

She grunted, her head somehow lowering further. " Severus…you want supper?"

" Yes." The raven-haired boy nodded.

She turned her head to him, her lip split and her eyes dark. " Then get your own damn money and find it yourself. It's time you made yourself useful."

And so, Severus turned and left his front stoop without another word. He supposed he could get a job…if there was anyone in need of a scrawny thirteen year old, which he deeply doubted. It seemed that he would have to look through garbage again tonight; normally, if the hunger was excruciating enough, he would have a meal with Lily and her family. However, they were on vacation and would not be back for five more days. He missed her with all his being.

He passed one of the local taverns, the Salty Dog, and began salivating at the smell of beer-battered fish and fresh biscuits. The sun was setting and his clothes were dark so he figured that, if he stayed in the shadows, he could sneak a few morsels from one of the garbage cans in the back. He quietly stooped beside one, listening to make sure no one was coming with another load of trash, and then removed the lid as noiselessly as he could. He dug around inside and found some chicken bones with meat still clinging to them and made a meal of them; they were garlic-y and tender.

Light flooded the alleyway and he froze; a figure stood in the open doorway of the Salty Dog's back room.

" I thought I heard a rat." Came a voice from the light.

Severus scrambled to get away, but they had stepped on his overlarge jacket and he fell back to the ground. He felt himself get picked up by the scuff of the neck and was carried into the tavern. He was tossed to the ground and the door slammed shut.

A girl stood over him; she couldn't have been much older than he was. Her hair was a messy, purplish-brown bob, she wore overlarge glasses, and she stood with her hands on her hips and with her lip jutting outward.

" What you doin' in the trash, bud?" She questioned; she must have been American based on her accent. She jabbed a finger in his direction, and he noticed that her pinky finger was missing.

" I, uh…I was hungry. And I don't have any money." He stammered. To his surprise, her knitted eyebrows came apart and she appeared to soften slightly.

" Yeah, that's how we all feel sometimes." She held out a hand to him; he turned from it and stood up himself. " You need money?"

He looked at her. " Yes. Badly."

" Just stay here." She then went to another part of the kitchens. He debated running, but before he could act on it, she reappeared with a burly, cigar-smoking man.

" Look, kid, just 'cause I took you in doesn't mean I'm gonna take every ragamuffin that stumbles in here; you're trouble enough as it is." He grunted at her, voice raspy with smoke.

" Well, he'd probably be helpful; he's my age and he's desperate. Plus, he's so skinny he could squeeze into tight places to clean or grab stuff." She looked at Severus. " You'd be a good worker, wouldn't you?"

He nodded fervently.

She looked back at the large man, light brown eyes prodding, and he sighed heavily, throwing a hand in the air before leaving in a huff.

" What just happened?" Severus asked.

" I got you a job so you can end your life of crime." She grinned. " That's Thom, by the way. He owns the place. And he's a softy, just so you know. So, what's your name, then?"

" Snape, Severus Snape. You?" He asked.

" Blue, Harmony Blue." She mimicked. " So, where you from?"

" I live on…Spinner's End." He mumbled.

Normally people scrunched their noses in disgust at that, but to his surprise her face lit up. " I just live over on Milkweed Lane! Groovy, dude."

He blinked at the comment. " So are you from America? You have the accent."

As she dried dishes, she laughed. " It's funny that you guys think that _I_ have an accent; to me, it's _y'all_ that speak funny. But, yeah, I'm from the U.S. of A. Just moved here in February with my family to help care for my grandparents. They've gone _infirm."_

" What does that mean?"

" Mostly that they poop themselves. But partly 'cause they forget things."

They were quiet after that, and washed dishes together for about a half hour before they were told to leave for the night.

" You got a _real_ easy shift." Harmony commented with a sigh. Severus said nothing as he walked down the alley. She scowled at him. " What's your problem, dude? I just landed you a _job_. You oughta be grateful."

" Yeah, sorry…thanks…" Severus mumbled, staring at his feet.

She sighed, and they merely shuffled along beside each other in the last light of day until they reached Milkweed Lane. She saluted him with her pinky-less finger before dashing down the dirt path. Severus stood in the street for a moment, allowing the wild events of the night to sink in fully; he more or less committed a crime and was more or less rewarded with a job. Perhaps, he thought, he should raid the garbage more often.


	2. Chapter 2: Thoughts

Severus felt very alone in his home on Spinner's End. He had to remind himself sometimes that he couldn't just go to the playground to wait for his friend; she had been gone for a long time. Even so, the pain of not being able to sit on the swings and talk with her—just talk—was something he had to face every day of his existence.

Today he had taken a walk and passed up the Salty Dog, which was, as far as he knew, still run by relatives of old Thom if not by Thom himself. He caught himself peering back into the alleyway where he had first encountered Harmony. She was such an odd girl, but he had warmed up to her with time…he understood her and she understood him.

That was the one flaw in his relationship with dearest Lily; she lived a happy sheltered life, something that Severus had never experienced. Therefore, although she tried to comfort him, he knew that she did not, in fact, know how he felt. She could never have truly known why he was so dark and reclusive, because any problems she had ever had were shallow, and were simply a part of growing up in a world full of disagreeable people. His were far deeper than that.

Severus snapped out of his reverie and kept walking so as not to be accused of loitering. He wondered, then, what had become of Harmony; he had not seen her in ages. Of course he knew why; theirs was yet another friendship that he had managed to demolish. At that point he had given up on ever trying to create relationships with people. They always seemed to end in misery and anger.

He headed back towards his place of residence—he did not refer to it as home as he had no emotional fondness for the old shack—and thought that he would brew some rejuvenating tea when he got there. This weather and these memories had aged him for reasons he could not explain.


	3. Chapter 3: Lily Returns

Severus waited on the playground for Lily to arrive; he knew that she had gotten home yesterday evening and he could barely sleep because he was so thrilled to see her. He was also more proud of his appearance now: with the money he had earned from his work at the tavern, he was able to buy himself a new pair of jeans. He actually had trouble not looking at them, they were so new and they fit him so well. His one other pair had gotten too small and threadbare long ago.

His head snapped up when he heard his name being called. He saw her red hair flash in the sunlight as it bounced up and down from her running towards him. He slipped off of the swing and was almost knocked over when she enveloped him in her arms.

" Hey, Sev! I missed you!" Lily giggled, squeezing him tightly. He felt dizzy with pleasure, even after she released him. " Hey, did your parents buy you new clothes?" She asked, surprised.

" Ah, no…actually I did. I got a job at the Salty Dog; it's that one tavern not too far from here. I bought these as soon as I got enough money." He said proudly, dusting them off.

" Wow, they really let you work at a _tavern?"_ She breathed.

" Yeah, there's actually another girl that works there that's my age. All we really do is clean up after people, so we're never around the drinks or anything." He explained, even though it wasn't entirely true: he had seen Harmony sip leftover alcoholic beverages after the customers had left on more than one occasion.

" Wow…" She said again. " Well, that's great that you have your own money now, Sev."

He flushed red at the compliment and at the hint of pride in her voice, then asked her about how her family holiday had gone.

" Ey, Snape!" Called a familiar voice. He looked up to see Harmony rushing toward them.

Lily looked anxious and stepped slightly behind him. " Who is that, Sev?"

Harmony stopped, breathing somewhat heavily. " Hey, Thom says he wants you to come in a half hour early tonight…is this your little Lily friend that you told me about?" She asked wryly.

" Yes, Harmony, this is Lily." Severus growled, embarrassed.

" Well, hey, nice to meet you." She smiled crookedly, extending a hand to Lily, who took it and quietly returned the greeting. " Snape said you was on vacation; how'd it go?"

" Just fine, thank you. It was a lovely time away from Cokesworth." She said, her shyness starting to dissipate.

" Alright. Nice slacks, Snape. Groovy." Harmony commented.

Severus forced a smile and nodded curtly, hoping she would leave. Instead they all stood there in an awkward and uncomfortable silence.

Harmony spoke again, hands stuffed in her pockets. " So, ah…where do you guys go to school?"

" We go away for school." Lily responded without giving away where they really went.

" Really, to where?"

" To Scotland…there's a really good school there that we go to. We're both gifted students." She continued; Severus was actually surprised at how well she lied. It didn't seem in her nature to do such a thing.

A strange look passed through Harmony's light brown eyes. " How exactly do you get in there?"

" You just have to have special talents and do well in school…and outside of school." Lily said. Severus sensed her getting a bit nervous and knew that she was probably running out of ideas to keep the story going.

" Okay…Scotland, huh? There's a lot of cool castles there, right?" Harmony commented, seeming to imply something.

" Yes…it's a beautiful country." Lily said, her voice quivering slightly. Severus placed a hand on the back of her neck, glaring at Harmony.

" Can you stop questioning us, please?" He said demandingly.

Harmony broke eye contact with Lily. It was an odd sort of eye contact; it seemed to never waver and was highly intense.

" Yeah." She said, blinking a few times, as though to clear her head. " Sorry, I can be a little…nosy. Sometimes." She looked apologetically at Lily. " Anyway, come in a half hour early." She then turned on her heel and raced off again.

Once she was out of earshot, Severus turned to his friend. " Are you alright?"

Lily appeared distant and a bit miffed. " Yes, I think so…" She shook her head. " That was _so_ weird, Sev. It was like she was inside my head or something."

Severus's eyes opened wide. " Like she was inside your head? Is that what you said?"

She nodded.

He looked at the ground, trying to recall what the skill of mind reading was called. He looked at her suddenly. " Legilimency! Lily, I think she was using Legilimency on you!"

Lily raised an eyebrow. " But, Sev, she's a Muggle. Isn't she?"

Severus froze, thinking. He had never questioned her or noticed anything magical-related about Harmony. She seemed for all the world like an average Muggle girl. " Well…I don't know. Maybe it was just the way she was staring at you and questioning you. I haven't noticed anything special about her in the past week."

" I don't know, either. But, it kind of did seem like she was using some sort of magic on me. When you see her, really pay attention to everything she does. Maybe ask her some things, too. That was just too weird." Lily sighed.

Severus put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her slightly, pleased at her warmth. " How about we go sit by the stream and talk about other things for awhile? That would probably help."

She put her head on his shoulder for a moment, then walked off in the direction of their secret hideaway. He already missed the feeling of her touch.

Once at the stream, Lily described how fun her vacation was. She was especially glad that she had actually managed to get Petunia to laugh and play with her again. For the time being, it seemed that Lily's sister had forgotten about the magic that Lily possessed that made her so special.

" What did you do while I was away? Well, other than get a job." Lily giggled.

Severus shrugged. " Nothing much, other than work and buy these pants. I tried to avoid home as much as possible, really."

She looked at him sympathetically, and lay down next to him. He gazed down at her from his sitting position, wondering what exactly made her care for him so much when no one else did.

" Are you friends with Harmony, then?" She asked suddenly.

He looked up to the trees. " Umm…I don't think so. We're just fellow employees. I mean, today was the first time I've ever spoken with her outside of work."

" Hm." She replied, looking off to the side. There seemed to be a certain air of satisfaction about her, though, and Severus was both confused and pleased by it. It seemed that she didn't want their friendship to be affected by another girl, a third wheel.

" Do you want to come over for dinner sometime?" She asked.

He smiled at her. " Yes, I really would. Especially now that I'm a little more presentable." Together they laughed, and forgot all about the seemingly magical Harmony.


	4. Chapter 4: Returning to Hogwarts

It was at long last time for Severus to return to Hogwarts, as the school year was fast approaching. He held onto his crates and other luggage and, turning on his heel, Apparated to the wooded path just outside the castle grounds. He was allowed entrance and made his way up to the massive school, and then through its winding corridors to his sleeping quarters.

As he walked, he passed up Minerva McGonagall, who nodded curtly to him in greeting. " Hello, Severus. You're here a bit early this year; your lesson plans must be particularly difficult." She laughed once.

" I suppose they are…but, the sooner I can get away from Cokesworth the better. The weather has been positively dreadful." He replied tiredly.

" Ah, yes. Well then, you ought to rest up. And go out in the sunshine for a time, Severus; it is truly rejuvenating." She then continued on her way. He stood in the quiet hall for a few moments before moving on his way. Once he had placed his things inside his room, he decided to take McGonagall's advice and went to stroll out in the sun. He walked slowly, breathing in the scent of the plants and the mountains and the lake. He walked to an old tree that leaned out over the crisp, dark waters of the Black Lake and sat beneath it. He remembered the times when he would come to it to be alone to study…and that sometimes Lily would come with him. She would sometimes hide behind the tree or up in its branches, waiting for him to arrive, and would jump out at him, or shoot birds from her wand, laughing as she watched him yelp and tumble to the ground. He wished that he could have such a pleasant surprise now, for even though he would scold Lily for such behavior, he cherished those times very dearly, and wished that they had not been so numbered.

" 'Alo, Severus!" Boomed a cheery voice, causing him to jump and nearly fall into the lake.

" Hello…Hagrid." Severus mumbled unhappily, straightening his robes and his composure.

Hagrid smiled through his thick, scraggly beard. " Ah, what a beau'iful day 'tis! It's good to see you ou' in the sunshine, Snape."

" Yes. It's _lovely."_ Severus smiled sourly.

" Say, did ye hear we're getting' a new _professor?"_ Hagrid asked, excited to spread the news.

Severus blinked, surprised at the news. " For what class?"

Hagrid thoughtfully scratched at his beard. " Mmmm…Muggle Studies. Yeah, that be the one!"

Severus nodded, and then began to step around the half-giant. " Well, I have to go see Dumbledore…Good day, Hagrid." He then walked off along the grounds, happy to be on his own again. He suddenly heard an odd, mechanical sound from above him. He looked up and saw one of the most unusual sights he had ever seen.

He had seen a few Volkswagen Buses when he was younger…but he never knew that they were capable of flight. This one, with shiny red paint and a large trunk strapped to the top, was flying through the air, circling the ground as it slowed down, preparing for landing; he was able to identify "Twist and Shout" by the Beatles blasting from the open windows. He stepped cautiously toward it once it had landed and the engine was cut. He could hear a woman's voice half-singing the lyrics as though the song still played.

Severus cleared his throat. " Excuse me, but are you the new Muggle Studies professor?"

He heard shuffling from inside the vehicle. " That I am. I'll be out in a jiffy." Came her voice; it was an American accent. Severus paused for a moment, memories flooding back to him. He stepped around to the driver's side of the van just as the woman slid out of it. Light brown eyes locked with black.

" Severus?"


	5. Chapter 5: An Expected Guest

To Severus, the rest of the summer seemed to fly by, between working at the tavern and spending time with Lily. He loved being practically on his own, and being his own person; it made him feel meaningful.

He never noticed anything strange about Harmony.

But, sure enough, there came an unexpected announcement at the end of the First Years' Sorting Ceremony.

" We now have a new, special student, who will be amongst the Third Year students. She is special in that she is from far away; from the United States of America." Dumbledore announced; students mumbled to one another, intrigued. Severus and Lily met eyes across the Great Hall.

Harmony Blue walked confidently down the center aisle and sat upon the stool with a smirk on her face.

" She'll be in Gryffindor." Regulus Black whispered to Severus, nudging him lightly.

The Sorting Hat sat atop her messy hair for a moment before yelling out, " Ravenclaw!"

Regulus shrugged, but clapped along with the other students.

Severus did not understand why the Hat chose to place Harmony in Ravenclaw; in his experience with her, he never found her very clever or bright. He returned to his food, but felt eyes on him. He looked up at the Ravenclaw table to see Harmony staring at him with raised eyebrows. He knitted his at her and she rolled her eyes with a light, knowing laugh before turning to her own food. Severus sighed, somehow not surprised that she was there.

" Ey, Snape!" Yelled Harmony as she ran to Severus on a crisp fall day.

With a sigh he turned around. " Yes, Harmony?"

She half smiled at him. " A wizard, huh? I always figured…and that little girl of yours; I had a feeling about her too."

" That's very nice. I'm going to the library now." He then attempted to walk away, but she grabbed his arm.

" Hey, whoa, whoa! Who's that guy hittin' on your Lily?" She pointed a finger at none other than James Potter, who leaned with his arm against the wall over Lily, chatting arrogantly to her. She appeared apprehensive, and squirmed uncomfortably as he continued on about his Quidditch skills.

" That would be James Potter and his gang of toerags. They…they always do that." Severus murmured, trying not to draw attention to himself.

Harmony raised an eyebrow at the group over her massive glasses. " Go beat 'em up. Defend what's yours."

Severus whipped his head around to her, frustrated. " Okay, first of all, Lily and I are not an item. Secondly, James Potter always—,"

" James Potter always what, Snivelly?" James asked, strutting over to him; Lily stood back, wide eyed and worried, for she knew what would happen next.

" Nothing, Potter." Severus mumbled, then, a little braver, " It's none of your business."

James snorted, looking down his perfect nose at his victim. " Oh, I think it is. Do you really want to test me…Snivelly?" He brandished his wand close to Severus's face. " I could easily make your ugly face even more deformed, if you like."

Severus's eyes locked on the wand-tip, his heart beating a rapid tattoo in his chest.

" Ey, don't go getting your panties in a bunch, dude." Harmony interjected, pushing the wand away. James looked astounded.

" Who d'you think you are, girl?" James rounded on her.

She stood tall, returning his glare with equal intensity. " Don't be such a downer, Pothead."

James growled angrily. " Don't you dare! I _will_ hex a girl!"

" Yeah, yeah, of course you will. You with all yer little friends: there's Sirius Jack-Off, and Ol' Reefer Lupin over there…and the fat kid's just a pussy, so he'll be Pussy."

" Shut up!" James shouted, raising his wand.

_" Expelliarmus!" _Severus shouted, and James's wand was sent flying.

James immediately ran to grab it, and as he dove, Harmony raised a leg to his back and kicked him down. Lily had run to Severus and now stood behind him. They were both speechless, but gleeful, too. Sirius ran to help his friend to a stand and the whole gang fled the area to spare some of their dignity.

Harmony turned to them. " So, Snape, just copy what I did for future reference; they won't mess with you." She then continued on down the corridor and vanished amongst the crowd of awed students.

Severus and Lily ran to the library and whispered rapidly about the confrontation.

" Oh, Sev, it was wonderful! We need to keep her around!" Lily giggled, clutching his hands in her excitement.

Severus nodded, but was now more concentrated on the fact that they were holding hands. He wanted to lunge across the table they sat at and kiss her; he was so enthralled in the moment.

" I just want to know how she knew their names; she nicknamed them after all." He commented.

" Oh, yeah…she has to be a mind reader, or something. Just like you said." She contemplated, releasing his hands. He frowned. She smiled. " She's funny, Sev. Even though she can be a little…standoffish sometimes, I like her."

He nodded. " It seems like she looks after people. In a weird sort of way." He thought back to the night he had first met Harmony, and how she had helped him rather than landed him in a juvenile detention center. He decided then that he would count his fellow tavern employee as a friend.


	6. Chapter 6: Cold Tidings

Severus stood in shock, completely still, his mind racing. He hadn't encountered Harmony Blue since his school days.

She sighed, staring at her feet. " Well, are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna say something to me?"

He tried to form words, but he could only stand like a fool. She had changed since he had last seen her; her hair was long and straight, with a thin braid tied on one side of her face. She still wore her oversized glasses, and, of course, her pinky finger was still missing. She wore a long, yellow dress with a multitude of colorful patterns on it; she stood in her bare feet.

" What are you staring at?" She asked roughly.

" Nothing, Harmony…I haven't seen you in…" Severus drifted off. " You've changed."

She looked him over. " You haven't. Jesus, look at you; you're just a grown-up looking version of your younger self. I'd recognize you anywhere." She started unloading her bags.

He stood awkwardly. " Why not use a spell?"

She glared at him. " I like doing things manually. Don't you remember me at all?" She then set off across the grounds, leaving him standing by her van.

_" Locomotor trunk." _He murmured, following after her with her luggage floating behind him.

She rounded on him. " Damn it, I said I'd do it myself!"

He raised his eyebrows at her, not breaking the spell. She growled curses under her breath, but continued walking toward the castle.

They passed McGonagall in the corridors again. " Hello, Ms. Blue. It's so nice to see you again."

Harmony smiled tiredly. " You too, Profess—Minerva."

McGonagall smiled slightly, then continued on. They arrived at Harmony's room soon after. Severus led her luggage into the room and let it rest in the center. Harmony dropped hers loudly, clearly worn.

" Have to go park the Bus." She muttered, whisking past him and down the hall.

Severus stood in her room, still incredulous that she was there. He never thought that he would encounter her again, let alone speak with her, after their falling out all those years ago. He hoped that he would be able to come to terms with her; something that he was never able to do with Lily. Perhaps it would help him gain some sense of closure if he could make up with one of his old friends. It would help him to believe that he was a decent person, if not only a fraction of one. He left her room to go walk the grounds again, and accidentally found himself in Harmony's path again.

" So, you'll be teaching Muggle Studies, then?" He asked.

" Mm hm." She mumbled, evidently wanting to get away from him. She returned the question, though. " What d'you teach?"

" Potions." He replied.

" Fun stuff." She said, looking off to the side. It was painfully silent and terribly tense. Severus cleared his throat, nodded to her, and continued on his way. It seemed that today would not be one of forgiveness.


	7. Chapter 7: The Strut

Two years had passed, and Severus, Lily, and Harmony were now in their Fifth Year at Hogwarts. The past years had been filled with mishaps both in school and out. The three had all become regular targets of James Potter and his gang, although Lily was a romantic interest while Harmony and Severus were for spiteful humor. Outside of school, work at the Salty Dog had proven…interesting. Severus had been caught in the midst of a bar fight and had suffered a broken nose and rib; and since there was to be no underage magic used outside of school, the wounds had had to heal the inconvenient Muggle way.

Today, Harmony ran to Severus when she spied him lounging under his favorite tree, reading his Defense Against the Dark Arts book as usual.

" Hey, I gotta ask you something, Snape." She said, plopping down next to him in the grass.

" What?" Severus asked, not looking up from the pages.

Slightly annoyed, she grabbed the book and tossed it over her shoulder.

" Hey! That's my—," He started, but was interrupted.

" If you like Lily so much, why don't you tell her?"

Severus stopped, pulling away from her. He hated Harmony's abrupt tendencies; she didn't sugarcoat anything, even when she should. " Well…I just…I'm afraid that she won't be my friend anymore if I ask. Because once I tell her, then it'll make things…different. Probably not in a good way either."

Harmony rolled her eyes. " So what yer saying is that yer just gonna wait for that Pothead kid to steal her up instead. Or somebody else; because there's plenty of boys that like her, not just him. You've gotta stop beatin' around the bush and take her before she's taken!"

He sighed. " Look, somebody special like Lily would never want to be seen like that with someone like me. She's told me before that she has to make excuses for talking to me to her friends. I don't think she'd want to be with me." He frowned hopelessly.

Harmony looked him up and down. " Then quit pitying yourself and do something about it, for God's sake!" She messed up his hair. " It's easy, see, just wash your hair! Pick your head up! Walk tall! Let her know that you'll fight for her, protect her! Just make yourself look respectable, you know." She stood up. " Come on, up!" She dragged him to his feet. " See, you look pitiful, all slouched over. Straighten up!"

Severus straightened his back.

" You're still looking down; chin up! And throw back your shoulders a bit; look manly."

He lifted his face and pushed back his shoulders slightly. He felt more imposing this way and had to smile, if only a bit.

Harmony crossed her arms, assessing him. " Not bad. Now walk forward—no don't walk, _strut_."

Severus walked forward facing straight ahead, his posture confident. It felt good.

" Oh yeah. That's lovely. Walk to Lily just like that." She said.

Severus dropped the pose and turned around. " I dunno…I feel sort of weird when I do it."

" A good weird or a bad weird?"

" Um…good, I think."

" Then stick with it. You look good when you do it." She punched his shoulder.

Severus winced, rubbing it. " Are you sure that this isn't something that just American guys do?"

Harmony rolled her eyes. " Seriously? Look at that Potter douche bag; he's a prime example of the sexy strut." She then caught herself, looking appalled at her statement.

" Oh, God, not you too." Severus moaned.

" No, no…not like that. He just has nice muscles, y'know…but he's an ass about it." She gestured to him. " I mean, look at you; you've got…like, lean muscles…sort of. But, you're not a—I'm just gonna stop talking now." She threw up her hands, cheeks burning as she fled. " Practice your damn strut."

Later that day, Severus spotted Lily sitting alone in the library. Looking around, he slunk over to a bookshelf near her seat, waiting for a moment when he could catch her eye, but hopefully no one else's. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the light and walked confidently forward.

Lily looked up and smiled. " Well, somebody's happy today. What's up?" She asked. Over the past two years, Lily had matured physically; she was already becoming a beautiful woman. Severus, however, had not been as fortunate; he merely became longer and leaner and far more awkward rather than filling out and mastering himself. It made conversation with her muddled and pointless much of the time.

" Oh, nothing, really. Just a sunny day, I guess." Severus replied nonchalantly, pulling out the chair across from her and sitting in a smooth flourish.

She giggled; he faltered. Was he making a fool of himself?

" What?" He asked worriedly, struggling to keep his confident posture from slipping back into a slouch.

" Nothing, it's just…you're acting different; like you're on Liquid Luck or something." She smiled warmly, but with a wondering eye.

He waved a hand. " Yeah, sure. I have endless stores of it in my wardrobe; would you like some?"

She laughed again, and he grew confident.

" Listen, Lily…I've been thinking lately, and I—," He was cut off when Mary Macdonald, a close friend of Lily's, walked over.

" Hey, Lils, could you come help me with my Potions homework? I'm really having trouble with it…" She asked.

" Oh, sure! Let me gather up my things…" Lily trailed off, looking apologetically at Severus. " We'll talk later." She mouthed to him while Mary gabbed away about the difficulties she was facing with her potion. Severus was left alone at the table in silence.

" Bullocks." He muttered, hanging his head. He left the library, hopeful that he had made a better impression on Lily than he had before. Still, he had to wonder what Harmony had meant by her compliments earlier that day.


	8. Chapter 8: On Better Terms

A week and a half had passed since Severus had returned to Hogwarts. He had mostly kept to himself and had tried to keep out of Harmony's way, even though he wanted to reconcile with her. He thought it would be best to give her time for the shock of seeing him so suddenly again to wane. Today he figured that it had been enough time.

" Good afternoon, Harmony." He greeted her when he spotted her in the corridor. She turned and he noticed that she was clutching a small, fluffy cat to her chest. " I see you found a kitten."

She nodded. " Yeah, it's a little boy. Named him Queequeg."

He furrowed his eyebrows.

" It's a character from Moby-Dick. You know, like Herman Melville?" She explained. He still appeared confused. She shook her head. " American Muggle book; you wouldn't understand." She then began to walk away.

" Wait." Severus called out, striding over to her. He reached her, but could not find a thing to say.

She gave him a half-smile. " Still terrible at talking to girls, eh? Don't you remember any of my advice?"

He stared at the ground, embarrassed. He then became embarrassed that he felt embarrassed; why was he showing emotion all of a sudden?

" Hey, uh…if you don't mind me asking…did you and Lily ever…" Harmony asked awkwardly.

He then frowned, because it pained him to hear the name of the person he loved so dearly. He knew that he could not answer.

She took pity and nodded solemnly. " Oh…I see." There was a long pause. " I'm so sorry, Severus. I know how you felt about her…"

He looked up in surprise, because she never called him by his first name. " Thank you for the pity, I suppose. But, I don't deserve it…being the person I am. I…I do want to be on good terms with you, though, Harmony. Do you think that you could forgive me for all those years ago?"

She sighed, stroking Queequeg's long, multihued coat. " I…I'm not sure that I'm ready for that yet, Severus." He blinked at his name again. " But, I'll try. And don't say you're a bad person; I really don't think you are." She began walking away. " You _have_ changed since our school days."

Severus stayed in the corridor for a few moments, thinking over what had happened between them. He supposed that he was satisfied; at least she had not completely turned him away as she had in the past. It was nice to feel warmth from someone, rather than the cool tolerance that everyone else seemed to emanate when he was present. He hoped with all his heart that he would soon be able to find forgiveness in his old friend, so that he would have at least one person who he could talk to about…everything. There were so many things that he was ready to move on from, and he knew that this one redemption would help him toward happiness.


	9. Chapter 9: Quidditch Party

" So Pothead's having this House party thing. Did you hear about that, Snape?" Harmony asked.

Severus rolled his eyes. " Of course I did. And he's invited everybody out to the Quidditch Pitch this Saturday night; even a few people from Slytherin."

She nodded. " He invited most of Ravenclaw too; guess who wasn't one of that group." She rolled her eyes, then her face lit up deviously. " We should crash it."

" No you won't." Lily scolded, approaching from behind. Severus whipped his head around and blushed. " You two don't have to be so against every little thing that James and his friends decide to do. I personally think it'll be a fun time."

Harmony crossed her arms. " Sure, if you got invited, which I'm sure you did. Shit, I bet yer his guest of honor."

" No!" Lily yelled defiantly, although she flushed red. " Although, yes, I was invited to go. And he said I could bring my friends." She gestured to them.

Severus sighed. " I…I'm sorry Lily, but I don't know if I could go to _that._ I mean, Sirius Black told me that if he saw me he'd use Levicorpus on me and use me as a piñata."

" Oh, bullocks! I'll make sure that he doesn't do anything to you, Sev." She smiled, hitting his nose lightly with her finger. " So, will you come with me?"

Severus swallowed, but nodded. " Uh, sure…I'll come if you do."

Lily turned to Harmony, whose arms were still crossed haughtily. " Will you come too?"

Harmony growled, her eyebrows furrowed and her bottom lip jutting out. " Ohhh…._I'll be there._"

Severus waited on the castle grounds for Lily. He wore his newest pair of jeans, a black sweater with a thick green stripe across it, and black sneakers: casual attire. He saw Lily approaching from the castle and he did a double take. She wore tight jeans and a crimson v-neck t-shirt with a yellow stripe across the chest. Her red hair was tied up and she wore a quantity of makeup.

" Ready?" She smiled, holding out her hand to him.

" Yeah, sure." He replied, trying to keep his eyes off of her chest. He now realized just how much she had matured in the past few years.

" Where's Harmony? She said she would be here." Lily asked, grasping his hand tightly with excitement.

" Dunno…" He sighed, shuffling along beside her foolishly. _" Strut!"_ Harmony's voice rang in his head; he lifted his head and straightened himself up proudly.

The Quidditch Pitch was lit up by thousands of floating candles and loud, fast-paced music filled the cool night air. Everyone talked loudly and danced, laughing and smiling. And snogging. Severus smiled slightly at his fantasies.

" Hey Evans—uh, what's _he _doing here?" James Potter asked angrily as he approached. Lily released Severus's hand, ending the fantasies.

" Look, you told me that I could bring my friends: Severus is my friend. He's not hurting anything." Lily huffed, annoyed.

" Yeah, nothing but my reputation…" James drifted off, glaring at his rival. " So, Lily. Come dance with me; you're my special guest." He flashed his perfect smile at her.

Her cheeks turned a delicate pink and she looked at her feet. " Well…alright. Just this once."

" Um, hi." Severus said hopelessly, breaking his silence. " Lily, I don't know anybody here and I was hoping that we'd stick—,"

" Oh, get over it Snivelly." James spat at him, wrapping his arm around Lily's shoulders and whisking her away.

Severus stood in the crowd, mouth slightly open; there was no more happiness in him and the cheerful music sounded bland and muffled. Did he really just let his arch nemesis pluck Lily away from him that easily? He felt his heart sink and went to sit behind one of the goal posts, away from everyone. Why was he such a coward?

" Ey, Snape." Drawled a familiar voice. He looked up to see Harmony slouching before him with a two bottles in between her fingers. She held another in her opposite hand, drinking it.

" Harmony? What the hell, I thought—," He was cut off.

" Hush up an' drink one, you lonely bastard." She held out the hand loosely clutching the bottles.

Severus looked at her skeptically, but took one. " Are you drunk?"

She nodded lazily, plopping down on the grass next to him. Her jeans were torn and she wore a baggy gray sweater with "The Beatles" written in black across it. " They said it was a…a party sooooo…yeah." Her head fell onto his shoulder; he pushed her away.

" Well, Potter took Lily from me…again. I was so _close_ this time, damn it!" He punched the ground in frustration.

She stared at him with heavy eyelids from behind her oversized glasses. " You gonna drink that?"

He glared at her, but popped off the lid with a spell and took a sip. " What is this?" He winced.

" Schlitz." She grinned, opening her second…at least he thought it was her second.

He shrugged and took another sip. " So are you going to crash the party or…"

She shrugged as well. " Eh…I was thinkin' about it, but I couldn't come up with nothin' good." She looked at him. " So, uh…what'd you say?"

" That Lily's with Potter right now." He sighed, putting his head on his knee. " I was…I was so close to asking her to dance. But, then _he_ came."

" You're a pussy."

Severus winced at her harshness, but knew that it was true.

Harmony sighed. " Well, then screw her. No matter what she says, I think she likes the douche bag, which means she's only gonna make you feel shitty." She took a swig of her beer, wiping the froth on her sleeve. " And that's a bitch move."

" Don't say that!" He yelled at her. " You're just drunk right now; why don't you go lay down somewhere."

She gazed at him again, eyes half closed. " You know it's the truth. Even though I'm a lil' tipsy, you still know I'm right."

He thought about her words for a moment, and realized that, even though he didn't want to believe it, it was somewhat true. He saw the way that Lily looked at James in the hallways, trying to pretend that she hated him, but secretly wanting him. She never looked at Severus that way, and it killed him to think of that.

" I have to go get her. Right now." He stood up abruptly and headed back to the undulating crowd. He pushed his way through the others, looking for one head of red hair. He spotted her with James swaying to the music, their lips coming closer and closer together.

" NO!" Severus yelled, lunging forward. Lily's eyes opened wide as her head snapped in his direction.

" What the hell, Snivelly? Can't you see that I'm in the middle of something?" James roared angrily, reaching for his wand.

" No way!" Harmony shouted from behind Severus; he turned to see her hurl an empty beer bottle at James, which shattered upon impact. Lily jumped back, covering her mouth with surprise as she let out a shrill yelp. James yelled out angrily, scraping the broken glass off of him. Severus took his chance and rushed to Lily, grabbed her hand, and ran with her from the crowd.

" Severus! What the hell are you _doing?" _Lily yelled furiously, wrenching her hand away from him. " I smell alcohol on you, are you _drunk?" _

" No, no, Lily please, I—," He tried to explain himself, faltering. Then, without thinking, he grasped her shoulders, yanked her forward, and planted his lips on hers. She let out a small squeal, and pushed herself out of his arms. She stared at him with an open mouth, breathing heavily.

" S-Severus?" She said shakily.

But, he could scarcely hear her. His hands still hovered in the air where she had been. " Lily, I…I'm sorry; I wasn't thinking—,"

" Clearly!" She yelled, starting to move away from him.

Severus internally slapped himself across the face, chasing after her. " Lily, wait! I'm so sorry! I don't know why I did that, please wait!"

She whipped around to face him. " No, Sev, I'm done putting up with you! Why would you even do that?"

" Because I love you!" He yelled back, and then gasped at his confession, going pale.

She stared at him, her expression softening slightly. " What? Sev…"

" What's happenin'—," Harmony asked, wobbling over.

" GO AWAY HARMONY!" Severus bellowed. She put her hands up defensively, backing away a few paces before stumbling and falling down, where she stayed.

Lily stared at Severus for several moments, her eyes filled with tears. She shook her head and ran through the crowd, where she was lost to him. Severus stared after her for a long time after she had vanished, hating himself more than ever. He then fell to his knees and cried.


	10. Chapter 10: Growing Bonds

" Save your breath."

Severus opened his eyes, inhaling sharply through his nose. His dark eyes flitted about his room for a moment before he shut them slowly again. He had been dreaming about Lily again…this one was not a pleasant experience. He sat up in his bed and ran his hands over his forehead and through his black hair. Would he ever get over this trauma?

He got up and readied himself for the day; at least it was Friday, and he would have two days of no teaching to look forward to.

He walked to his dungeon classroom and sat at his desk, awaiting the class. The Potter boy was in this one; it was his first year, and already Severus did not care for him all that much. The boy reminded him too much of James.

The class flooded in and Severus droned through the lesson, not hearing much other than silence; perhaps he should have taken a sick day. He sat at his desk again at the end of class, examining the bottled potions there. Harry was the last to turn his in, and Severus looked up at him when the bottle hit the desktop. The green eyes stared at him with insecurity and dislike, not unlike his mother's had, long ago. He looked at his feet, turned and left the room after his friends. Severus gazed after the boy for a few moments before massaging his forehead and picking up a bottle.

" He's the spittin' image of his daddy, isn't he?" Harmony's voice came from the door. She leaned against the frame there, half-smiling at him.

Severus nodded. " He is indeed. He acts like him too." He made a disgusted noise.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. " What do you mean? In some ways I can tell, but I think he seems like a sweet kid."

" Well, you don't have him for class. He's talked back to me before, the brat." He growled.

" That's probably because you were pressuring him with questions he didn't have answers for. You probably scared the shit out of him!" She sighed. " He didn't even know anything until right before he came here, you know. You should be impressed that he's catching on so fast; give 'im some credit."

Severus sighed, wanting to fire back at her, but also not wanting to shatter their healing bond. " He…he _does_ have her eyes…"

" Lily's? Oh, yeah…he got those beautiful eyes." Harmony smiled reminiscently.

Severus winced. " I'd rather you didn't say her name…please."

She appeared apologetic. She walked to his desk and wrapped an arm around him, giving him a squeeze. " You'll be alright. Would you like to come to lunch with me?"

He looked at her and nodded, standing and walking out beside her. Perhaps being with his old friend would help keep his mind off the negative aspects of the past. When they walked into the Great Hall together, many of the professors looked at them in surprise; it was not often that Severus willingly associated himself with people. Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows when the two sat next to each other.

" I see that whatever differences you two may have had have been settled." Minerva called down to them.

" Just about." Harmony replied with a smile to her old teacher. Severus was silent and suddenly felt self-conscious. What would his students think? That he was soft and had a heart after all, he supposed. He didn't like it, and rose to stand.

Harmony grabbed his wrist and forced him back down. " Sit your skinny ass down, professor." She whispered to him. He put his head on his hand. It was quiet for several minutes.

She made a disgusted noise. " Look, if you're going to act all put out because you have to make contact with people, then forget it; I'll just leave…it's clear that you don't want me here." She pushed out her chair loudly and walked quickly from the hall.

" Always making a scene…" Severus growled, standing to follow her. He found her sitting in her red van in the shadow of the Astronomy Tower. " Harmony?" He called, trying to be gentle despite his humiliation and irritation.

She turned the music up louder and the Ramones overtook his voice. Highly annoyed he flicked his wand and the music was silenced.

" What the hell? First you offend me and then you kill Sheena the punk rocker! You're _really_ pushin' it, Snape." She growled.

" I wanted to apologize, Harmony." Severus said through gritted teeth. " I've had many things on my mind as of late, which have made me—,"

" Bitchier than a teenage girl on her period? Yeah, I noticed." Harmony interjected, crossing her arms.

Severus jerked his face upward, breathing slowly; she was making him _very_ angry. He shook his head. " Can you please, _please_ try to be mature for once? I'm genuinely trying to tell you that I'm sorry…I'd really like to make this work, you know."

She narrowed her eyes. " What are you talking about? There's nothing between us…you know that. I…I'm not Lily and I never will be to you." She softened. " I don't want to be…a replacement." She looked at her lap.

Severus stared at her, feeling awful about himself. Was he just trying to replace Lily or did he truly value Harmony as a friend? He wasn't sure yet.

" Harmony…I really would like a friend. I don't have any." He reached through the window and held her hand. " I miss how we used to be. Truly I do."

She looked up at him, surprise in her eyes. She got out of the van to stand next to him. " I appreciate that, Severus." She smiled. She then stood on her toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She pulled away, her face pink and unsure. She gave him a nod and walked to the castle slightly faster than normal.

He looked after her, himself taken by surprise at what had happened. He allowed himself a small smile, though, for he was glad it had happened.


	11. Chapter 11: Kinship On the Porch

Severus recalled the summer after his Fourth Year at Hogwarts. He and Harmony had finished their work early at the Tavern and she had invited him over to her grandparents' house for supper. They walked down Milkweed Lane and came to a quaint home with chipping gray paint and mossy shingles. She led him across the moaning wooden porch and into the house.

" Ma! I'm home! And I brought the Snape kid with me!" Harmony yelled unceremoniously.

A woman with long brown hair and flowing, flowery clothes traipsed into the room from the kitchen. " Oh, you must be the boy that works with Harmony at the Tavern. A pleasure to meet you." She held out her thin hand and Severus shook it gently. She led them through the kitchen to a small round table where plates and utensils awaited them. An elderly man and woman sat there.

" Who's this, Harmy?" Said the old man loudly.

" He's hard of hearing." Harmony said quietly to Severus. " This is Snape! I work with him!" She shouted to him, and he smiled and waved.

" Hurry with the chicken, dear!" Yelled the old woman, who, to Severus's surprise, impatiently took out a wand and flicked it, causing the dishes of food to float to the table.

Harmony smiled slyly at him. " Grammy's a witch. So's mom. Dad wasn't, though…" She trailed off sadly before taking her seat at the table. Severus wondered what had happened, but brushed it away once he looked at the delicious meal in front of him.

" So, boy, you work at that booze hole too?" Grammy asked, scooping up corn from a dish.

" Yes." Severus replied, taking heaping portions of food.

She nodded her wrinkled white head. " Where do you expect to put all of that food? You're terribly thin; if you lived with me for a month you'd fill right out."

He smiled crookedly at her, not knowing if she was scolding or poking fun at him.

" You're a shy one." Harmony's mother commented with a whispery laugh; her eyes were distant and unfocused.

The rest of the meal was quiet, but not awkwardly so. Severus ate every morsel on his plate, and Harmony led him out to the porch to sit afterwards.

" So that's us. We're pretty exciting, huh?" She laughed. " Sorry about mom. I think she had some pot before supper." She rolled her eyes.

For no particular reason Severus's eyes shot to her missing pinky finger. " How did that happen?" He asked.

She held up her maimed left hand and sighed. " My dad took me fishing once when I was little. He caught a big ol' catfish and he held it over so I could see. I stuck my hand in its mouth and it clamped down; they don't have no teeth, but their gums are like sandpaper. An' they can bite _real_ hard. My bones weren't real strong yet and I was freaked out, tryin' to pull away. Dad got its jaws open eventually and my finger was twisted and torn to shreds. It was so bad that they just had to cut it right off. I don't fish no more." She laughed humorlessly.

Severus shuddered at the thought of the mangled, bleeding hand and shut his eyes.

" I…I saw you with your shirt off by the river once." She admitted, face red in the fading light. " You had scars on your back…"

Severus was red, too, remembering the day that he had rolled up his pants, stripped off his shirt, and waded in the chilly water. He had run his hands over the bumpy scars on his pale skin, washing the water over them slowly; he had been lost in dark thoughts that day.

" My dad hits me." He said plainly. " I don't know why."

Harmony had a look on her face that he had never seen on her before. Sympathy filled her brown eyes behind her glasses. " I don't know about that…my dad was very kind." Her eyes were misty.

He looked at her. " What happened to him?"

She closed her eyes; her upper lip was twitching and she took a few long minutes to compose herself. " He was drafted to go to war in Vietnam years ago. For a while he'd send letters to us, but one day he quit. He's missing in action right now. Lots of people are. They'll find him, though…and he'll come home." She sighed heavily. " We just got to be patient."

Severus felt sad for her. " So you came to live with your grandparents?"

She nodded. " We, uh…we don't have a lot of money. We had no place to stay…and Grammy said that she'd like help around the house…"

He nodded, understanding what she meant.

" I miss Pennsylvania. It had big hills and valleys that were always green. I'm going to go back there someday." She smiled thoughtfully. They were quiet for a long time, watching the sun slip behind the trees. " We both got problems, huh?"

He nodded, and suddenly felt very close to Harmony. It was a different closeness than what he felt for Lily; that was a distant admiration and helpless love. This was a kinship and equality. He had never felt equal to anyone before and it was a strange thing for him to feel. That moment on the creaking porch was when Severus truly regarded Harmony as a friend.


	12. Chapter 12: Blossoming

Severus reopened his eyes from an unusually long blink, remembering at last that he had potions to grade. He sat upright in his desk and removed his hand from his forehead, hoping that there wasn't a red mark glowing on his pale skin. He looked up and blinked in surprise, for Harry Potter was standing silently before him.

" What do you want, Potter?" He asked with a sigh.

The green eyes looked at the potions on the desk and slowly moved to the floor. " I was wondering, sir—,"

" Look at me when you speak. And stop mumbling like a troll." Severus snapped heartlessly.

Harry looked up and did his best to keep eye contact as he spoke. " I was wondering, sir…"

" Spit it out."

" If…well…why you hate me…" The boy's eyes were anxious and sad.

Severus was caught off guard by the question and his eyebrows furrowed. He breathed slowly out his nose and crossed his arms. The boy was so much like James, but he could deny those eyes nothing.

He spoke slowly. " You are very much like your father. You speak like him, you are a Seeker like he was, and…my God, you even walk like him."

Harry's eyebrows pinched slightly in confusion. " I don't understand. Did you not like my father? Sir?" He added hastily at the end.

Severus did not answer the question. " Your eyes are not his, though." He was standing now, working his way around the desk. Harry stepped back, green eyes widened. The boy was trying to read Severus, but the black eyes were like steel.

" Professor?" Harry said hoarsely.

Severus stood over him. " I could never hate you, Harry."

Harry stopped breathing; hearing his name was so unexpected. He backed away from his Potions Master cautiously, weaving through the desks until he reached the doorway. After he held onto the frame for a moment, he turned and fled down the corridor.

Severus gazed after him, watching the green eyes run from him again. His heart ached and Lily's face floated before him; he reached out slightly, but suddenly another person flooded his mind. He wanted to see Harmony. Now.

He walked up to her classroom at breakneck speed and looked in to see her sitting cross-legged atop her desk with Queequeg in her lap, talking leisurely with the group of Ravenclaws that scribbled notes there. He heard music playing from inside and suddenly felt strange for interrupting the class. Even so he rapped his knuckles on the door and stepped inside.

" Excuse me, Professor Blue, but could I speak to you in the hallway for just a moment?" He asked courteously.

" Oh, hey Snape!" She smiled, and then gestured with her arms to him. " Come in here, come in!" The class looked on, confused.

She turned to them, smiling wryly. " Class, Snape and I go back a _long_ way. We had some great times together back in the day!" She said nostalgically.

Severus sighed exasperatedly. " The hallway, please?"

" Alright, alright." She addressed the class as she stood up. " Just keep listening to the music and try to figure out what the Muggles came up with to create and record it, 'kay?" She shut the door behind her and walked over to the column where Severus stood. " What do you need?" She asked.

He grabbed her shoulders and brought her forward into a passionate kiss. He heard her breathe a hissing gasp through her nose and through his slightly cracked eyes he could see that hers were wide open behind her glasses. He let her go gently and she stepped back, clearly miffed.

" Uh…I was thinking more along the lines of a glue stick, not me." She laughed once, nervously.

" I'm sorry, but I just realized how strongly I feel about you. I had to see you." He explained, suddenly feeling afraid and embarrassed about his actions.

Harmony stared at him and he was terrified that their friendship was about to end for good. Unexpectedly she stepped toward him again and held both of his hands in hers.

" I…I feel that way for you, too, Severus." She then stood on her toes and kissed him once more, softly. She pulled away and released him. " I have a class to teach."

Severus was left standing in the corridor, in shock over what had happened between them. He thought it over as he returned to his classroom, and a joy built up inside of him. He was suddenly hyper-aware of the rays of light that flooded through the windows, and of the tiny particles of dust that danced in them. He could hear the students' laughter and the cheerful noise filled him up. Color was more vibrant; the sky was a perfect blue, and the thick grass burst with hardy life. The golden sun made the green trees rich with light. As he walked, he examined the pictures on the walls and was surprised to find that he had never seen them before. He appreciated their existence and smiled. When he returned to his classroom he found that it was dark and lonely. He frowned and threw open the dark curtains, letting the light in. He saw the layers of dust upon the desks and shelves and set to polishing them to a reflective shine.

The class of Gryffindors and Slytherins came in and were stunned at the state of the room. Harry Potter quickly took his seat and tried not to make eye contact with his teacher.

" Good afternoon, class." He greeted them, a smile playing at his lips, which could still feel the brush of Harmony's upon them.

The children merely stared at him and did not make a sound. They figured that he had gotten to give some Gryffindors double detention, the way he was acting. They never would have guessed that his happiness was from the gift and reception of love.


	13. Chapter 13: Solitude

It was the summer after the "Mudblood Incident." Severus could hardly process what had happened, even though months had passed. He couldn't get used to sitting at the park or in the thicket by the river alone. He missed Lily's presence so sorely and he often shook with sadness and tears. He ignored Harmony as much as possible, and she rarely came around him anymore: he had quit his job at the Tavern.

One day Severus walked to the thicket and his breath caught sharply when he saw Lily sitting with her back to him, arms hugging her knees. He stood frozen beside one of the trees, mind racing: should he approach her, or keep quiet? He made a raspy moan and her red hair flew about her as her head whipped around to see him. She glared angrily at him and stood up, knuckles white as she clenched her fists.

" Go. Away. Now." She snarled. It broke his already shattered heart further to see her beautiful face so twisted with malice and utter hatred; and all because he had accidentally let a small profanity slip from his tongue.

" I'm so sorry Lily…" His voice shook pitifully from the lump that stuck painfully in his throat. Tears dripped from his dark eyes and he knew that his nose was a hideous shade of red and probably running profusely. And he hated himself for it.

Her face softened; it was not in her nature to hate for so long. " I just don't want to talk to you yet."

Severus opened his mouth to speak and a weak howl was all that escaped, rising and falling in two syllables.

Lily looked away from him, herself close to tears. " Sev, really. You're sixteen and you're crying like a five year old."

" Because I miss you, Lily, I love you so much!" He blurted out uncontrollably.

" No you don't."

" YES I DO!" He shrieked, face contorted in a hideous sob.

Tears fell from each of her eyes. " No you don't." She repeated.

" Yes I do, and I always will, and I need you Lily! You're _everything!_ I want you forever!" He bawled, his entire form shaking wildly. He came toward her, arms outstretched and hands grasping.

She looked at him, frightened. " Severus, don't. Stop!" She backed away from him, groping for her wand, and then realizing that she had left it at home. She screamed.

" DOWN, SNAPE!" Harmony's voice yelled from the bushes. She threw her full weight at him and knocked his unstable body to the ground. " Get out of here, bitch!" She ordered Lily as she struggled to keep Severus on the ground. Lily did as she was told and was gone in an instant.

" Nooooo…" Snape moaned sickly, struggling beneath Harmony. " Get off of me! Get OFF!" He threw back an elbow and hit her in the chest. She gasped and rolled off of him.

" Ouch, you asshole!" She growled, putting a hand over the tender flesh.

Severus trembled before her with rage and sorrow. " Why did you do that? I hate you!"

She rolled her eyes. " Oh, blow it out your ass! I had to do that; you were probably gonna rape her or something, you crazy fuck!"

" I was not!" He yelled defensively, although in his panic thoughts of such an act had flickered through his mind. " Why did you even follow me in the first place?"

She turned red. " Because…well…look, you've been depressed lately, and…I thought…"

" What, that I was going to kill myself? What does it matter to you?" He scowled.

She glared at him. " It matters because I don't want you to kill yourself over some bitch who treats you the way she does! Get over her, Snape! Be _realistic_!"

He snapped, rage in his eyes. " Oh, you want _me_ to be realistic? What about you? You actually believe that your dad's still alive in Vietnam; that he's just missing! Do you realize how many people were killed there? He's just one of the _bodies_!"

" SHUT UP!" She screamed, voice shaking. For the first time, her rough demeanor shattered and she began to sob. " That's not true!"

" Yes it is! Quit being so fucking stupid!" He yelled mercilessly.

She threw her arms up, tears streaming down her ruddy cheeks. " Fine! I don't even give a shit about you! I give up!" She cried harder. " Go cry about someone who doesn't love you while the one who does walks away!"

Severus looked confused. " What are you talking about?"

" I'm never gonna speak to you again, you ignorant little asswipe! So don't even try!" She then ran away, sobbing as she crashed through the bushes.

Severus stood very still. All he could think about was Lily. But, then he thought about Harmony; now she was gone too. And she was the only one who really understood him. In his misery he fell to the ground and passed out, knowing that he had destroyed everything in his pitiful life that meant something.


	14. Chapter 14: Forgiveness

Severus opened his eyes and breathed in sharply as he had before; it had been another torturous dream. He sat up and wiped the sweat from his forehead…and was startled when he heard the other side of the bed creak. He looked over to see Harmony watching him from over her glasses; she had been reading a thick novel by Ray Bradbury.

" You're awful squirmy, you know. And you make noises." She stated. " You don't snore though; that's a plus."

" You _stayed_?" He said incredulously.

She looked down at the book and then back to him. " Yeah."

Severus looked at her closely. " Please tell me you weren't reading my mind."

She sighed and closed the book. " No; you're too good of an Occlumens now. I only caught snippets…unintentionally."

He sighed exasperatedly. " I thought that you got that under control a long time ago. When we were still in school."

She shrugged. " I still have trouble controlling it every now and then, mainly when I'm sawin' logs." She then looked sympathetic. " While I was still sleeping I saw parts of your dream…I woke up an hour ago to read and clear it away."

His face turned red. " I have nightmares…sometimes. They aren't regular dreams, though…they're the memories that I try hardest to repress." He felt odd telling someone about it, as he never revealed his secret emotions to anyone. They were both quiet for a while.

Harmony sat up straighter in the bed and placed a hand on his shoulder. " Well…if it helps at all…last night was lovely." She glanced at him deviously out of the corner of her eye.

Severus began to remember yesterday evening: the sun dropping, the touch of her hand, the way she had unconsciously caused the flames to float so slowly up the chimney like waves, and the way they had kissed to that slow, fluid motion.

" You are very powerful with magic, you know. Even though you try to hide it." He told her softly.

She smiled. " I guess…it does frighten me sometimes…the way I manipulate things even when I don't mean to…that's why I act like a Muggle, really." She was being more open now, too. They flowed into one another effortlessly.

" Wanna go to Hogsmeade today?" She asked suddenly.

He pondered it for a moment, then nodded. " I suppose those potions can wait to be graded."

…

Severus and Harmony walked through Hogsmeade arm in arm. She wore mint colored robes, for once looking the part of a witch. Her long hair was braided and tied in a crown around the back of her head. And for the first time Severus realized how beautiful she was: a different beautiful than Lily, who was unconventionally so. Harmony had a worn out sort of beauty, one that showed that she had been through struggle, but not so much as to make her haggard. Lily, on the other hand, never showed any hint of being overworked; she was the darling of the family, after all. It gave Harmony character.

He smiled at her in the snow. " You look lovely in formal robes."

Her rosy cheeks filled out in a bashful smile that made crescents of her eyes. " Why thank you." She replied in a false accent. They walked into Tomes and Scrolls to see if there were any books worth reading. As they roamed the bookshelves, Severus noticed Professor Quirrell exiting in a hurry, twitching all the while. Harmony followed his gaze and spotted the turbaned professor as well.

" Have you noticed how weird he's been acting lately?" She asked. " He's been even touchier than usual since the thing with the troll."

He nodded solemnly. " Yes, I know. I confronted him just the other night. I get a terrible feeling from him…"

She shrugged. " He seems like the type who you could trust as far as you could throw him." She shivered. " He gives me the willies."

He nodded in agreement and moved on, limping slightly as he went; the wound from Halloween had healed, but he still grew sore every now and then.

" How is that? Does it hurt?" She asked in hushed tones.

" Oh, it's fine. This cold certainly isn't helping it, though." He assured her. He paused for a moment in surprise, feeling a comforting warmth flow to the area. He noticed Harmony staring at it.

" How's that?" She asked quietly.

He smiled at her. " Much better. You really are something else, you know."

She blushed and they continued on to the Three Broomsticks to have a firewhisky together. As they sat at the bar, Harmony glanced over her shoulder and then quickly looked away again.

" Is he following us, or are we following him?" She whispered, jerking her head to the side.

Severus glanced over and spotted Quirrell hunched over a drink in a corner, alone. " I don't know…that's odd, though, that we'd run into him twice." They ignored the coincidence and chatted about their students for a time before they decided to head back to Hogwarts for more alone time. They took a more indirect path through the forest and watched the snow fall around them. Severus gazed at Harmony for a few seconds, and then wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. After, they held one another for a long time, listening to the peace around them.

" Severus…I forgive you for everything. We were just stupid kids with stupid problems. I see that you've become a wonderful man…and I love you." She said softly, her eyes never wavering from his.

Tears welled in his eyes and he forced them to stay there. " Thank you…thank you so much, Harmony. You have no idea…" He shut his eyes, breathing slowly. " I love you, too." He reopened his eyes and felt a tremendous darkness be lifted from his soul. He could start over now, with this forgiveness. He could be happy. And Harmony would be there with him, forever.

She smiled up at him with love and excitement in her eyes. And then she froze. The color went from her eyes and her body went slack. She fell against him like an empty sack and was still.

" Harmony?" He asked, her name echoing. His heart stopped. " Harmony." She did not move. He looked up just in time to see deep purple robes and a turban flutter behind the trees and vanish. " HARMONY!" He screamed. He bent down with her and placed her in the snow. Her eyes, half-open, were eerily dark; her rosy cheeks were pale; her skin was an unearthly cold. He yelled at her, shook her, tried to revive her with magic.

But she was gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

He sobbed over her lifeless form. Everything good and bright about what was to come for them, together, had disappeared more quickly than it had come. He started to slip back into darkness…

_" I forgive you for everything…and I love you."_

He last words resurfaced in his mind, the tickle of her breath against his skin still lingering. She had given him her forgiveness…and she her acceptance. He stopped crying for a moment, letting this reality set in.

" Severus…what has happened here?" Came Dumbledore's terrified voice from behind him.

Severus's voice was scarcely a whisper. " She was murdered." Tears flowed again.

The elder wizard knelt next to him in the snow. " I…I'm so sorry…"

But Severus did not hear him; all he could think about were those final words.

_" I forgive you."_

His eyes closed and he fell away.


	15. Epilouge

Harry's frightened green eyes faded from Severus's mind; the boy had grown so much, and had become so brave. The world slipped from his fingers and his nerves went numb. It was calm and quiet and warm.

Then the light came again, and everything was pure. He stood in a field of snow, but it was not cold or lonely; he could feel people smiling at him.

" Severus." A beautiful voice said to him. He turned and saw Lily, with a sad, but grateful smile on her face.

" Lily!" He gasped, running into her arms. " Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry for everything! I never meant—"

" Severus…" She repeated. She pulled out of his embrace and looked into his eyes. " I know. You've more than made up for that. Thank you so much for protecting our son."

Severus looked over her shoulder and saw James standing with his hands in his pockets, half-grinning at his old foe.

" I know that I'm by no means the person you want to see right now," He said, stepping forward and extending his hand. " But I had to thank you as well…and apologize for everything I've done to hurt you."

Severus gazed at the hand for a moment, but took it firmly in his own and shook it.

Lily smiled at the two men. " Now that that's settled, there's someone who would like to see you, Severus." She looked off to the side and Severus followed her gaze.

Harmony stood in the snow, still wearing her mint-colored robes, her hair still up in a crown about her head. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes glowed with happiness.

Severus was silent, his mouth slightly ajar. Then, without hesitation, he rushed to her and wrapped her in his arms. She laughed with excitement and glee as he held her tighter.

" Harmony, oh, I've missed you so much!" He cried, examining every one of her features. They all came back to him now: every hair, wrinkle, and pore.

" I've missed you, too Severus. I've been waiting for a long time." She said.

He wiped the tears from his eyes. " I've been so lonely without you…"

She raised an eyebrow at him. " I was there the whole time, Sev. You didn't think I'd just leave you like that?"

He shook his head and held her close again. When he released her he turned to face James and Lily again.

Lily smiled at him. " Well, we'd best be on our way. Even though Voldemort is gone, we still want to watch over Harry. Just in case." She waved goodbye and turned to go, but paused, looking back one last time. " I've always loved you, Severus."

He smiled at her. " And I've always loved you." Then both James and Lily vanished into the snow, and Severus felt relief and closure.

He turned to Harmony. " I've always loved you, too." He said.

She smiled at him, interlocking her arm with his. " And you know that I always have."

" I'd still like to hear you say it."

" I love you, Severus."

And with that they walked on towards a golden light in the distance, knowing that nothing could keep them from being together, that they would forever be inseparable.

And Severus was happy.

The End


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